Let’s assume you read part 1 of my guide and you are landing on a Saturday afternoon in Cape Town to start your journey. Here’s your daily schedule:Day 1 (Saturday – Cape Town):

Pick up your rental car at the airport and make sure it has a navigation system. Ask for a model with a large trunk, because you don’t want to leave anything laying in your car while parking it outside. Be sure to type the correct address of your hotel otherwise you may end up in the wong neighbourhood…As ou rental guy told me: “Safety first bro!”, before re-typing the address, which was correctly entered by us by the way, and sending us to Orange Street in a township near the airport instead of the city bowl.

Check-in at your hotel and have a little nap before dressing up for your first night out in Cape Town. Hopefully you followed my advice and made a reservation in a nice restaurant in advance, for example at the Black Sheep (www.blacksheeprestaurant.co.za). Despite the current controversy and any moral  convictions you may have I recommend that you download the Uber App (www.uber.com) for your mobile. I do not mind to pay a little more but I really hate the feeling of being ripped off by the usual “no-meter” or “fixed price” guy.

After your dinner you could go to Asoka (www.asoka.zs.com) for a nightcap or two. The drink of choice is the Porn Star Martini (try it) and before ordering the bill, you should ask for a “chocolate cake”.

PS: If you return to this place during your stay and feel like having a snack, order the salmon spoons, they are delicious.

Day 2 (Sunday – Cape Town):

Get up late, miss breakfast and go for a brunch to Manna (www.mannaepicure.com). After your eggs benedict you could visit the V & A Waterfront to get a first impression of the city, take the first pictures of the table mountain and afterwards head for camps bay for your first sunset in South Africa. Look for Caprice Café (www.cafecaprice.co.za) at the Promenade because this is the place to be on a Sunday to get a glimpse of the young and beautiful. Dance – without guilty conscience for a change – into the new week to some deep house tunes and look forward to a great adventure. This is just starting…

Day 3 (Monday – Franshhoek)

Get up early, have a good breakfast (this will save your life later on) and check out. Drive all the way up to Franschhoek (a great alternative to the widely known Stellenbosch) and check into one of the nice hotels in the valley, for example Le Franschhoek Hotel & Spa (www.lefranschhoek.co.za). Be sure to arrive before noon, because you have a tram to catch in town. Book your ticket for the wine tram online on: http://winetram.co.za/ and just enjoy the ride. Actually the wine tram is a little bit misleading because it is mostly a hop-on hop-off bus tour, but it’s great way to discover some beautiful wine farms and drive home safely.

You may well be the spontaneous type of guy that crosses the bridges when he gets there, but it is highly advisable to make reservations for one of the fine dining restaurants in the area for dinner way in advance unless you want to be a very hungry guy crossing bridges.

Day 4 (Tuesday – Oudtshoorn)

According to the omniscient Google maps the drive from Franshhoek to Oudtshoorn takes exactly 4hrs and 33mins. Well this is the theory. Reality means some nasty stop-and-gos along the way, detours and possibly some closed roads. Add a lunch break to this and the result is a day trip along the N2.

In Oudtshoorn you could check in at the Gumtree Lodge. Linda and Phil are great hosts and Phil knows literally every road and attraction in South Africa – Wikiphil.za!

Recommendations for dinner: Bello Cibo (www.bellocibo.co.za) or Jemima’s Restaurant. Time to try some ostrich meat…

Day 5 (Wednesday – Oudtshoorn)

This is going to be an exciting day!
Your first stop will be at the Highgate Ostrich farm (www.highgate.co.za), where you will learn that the brain of an ostrich weighs less than its eye for example. Or did you know that it takes 90 minutes to boil an ostrich egg? Do I hear “lifeline”?
The next stop is the Kangoo Wildlife Ranch (www.cango.co.za). The guided tour is not that exciting, except for the feeding of the crocodiles but the encounters with animals are good fun. You can go all Steve Irvin and dive with crocodiles or risk your manliness by cuddling with the baby animals. I opted for the middle way and finally got my picture with a cheetah, although it was some work because the animals at this farm are neither on drugs nor abused, and therefore do not really hold still for selfies.
In the afternoon your last visit will be at the Cango Caves (www.cango-caves.co.za). Make sure to check the daily schedule of tours in the morning to avoid unnecessary waiting.

…to be continued…