Yesterday evening I got home to find a small, harmless looking box in my mail. I got nervous.
I opened it just to find another smaller box with Iodine tablets. No letter or note, just those tablets. A small sticker mentioning that it was sent by the Swiss army’s pharmacy. What? I get very nervous.
Did I go to the doctor and forgot about it? For a split-second I cannot remember…I should definitely ease up on the booze (mental note). And why Iodine? Are we facing a nuclear disaster? And how shall a couple of pills help me to survive the apocalypse? Damn, I should read more newspapers. North Korea may be invading us and I am busy taking pictures for my blog that has 12 followers. Instead I could have done the things that really matter, like:
- Kiss my girlfriend goodbye
- Call my parents
- Kiss my girlfriend again and again and again
- Borrow money from the bank and spend it on a weekend in Vegas with all my friends while swallowing the Iodine with some ice-cold vodka shots
- And most importantly visit all the people first that I really need to high-five….with a chair…in the face.
Turns out that all the panic was without any reason. Apparently letters were sent in advance to inform the population that this is just a precautionary procedure to spend our tax money. I think I never received this letter (maybe I really should check my memory). But I guess people must be feeling so much safer now.
So dear government, instead of sending around some tablets- which by the way in a case of emergency I will not be able to find due to my short memory span and chaos – you could invest the money in either shutting down the nuclear power plant or just plant some trees in the city.
Thanks for reminding us of our mortality. I will make some calls now, have a drink and give some well deserved high-fives.